Mama, You Been On My Mind

Almost every year around the first day of fall, I put on Bob Dylan's 'Mama, you been on my mind' & listen to it while noticing what's there. The rain, the change, the light. The firm & the liminal. The letting go. The not wanting to let go. It's like all the people who have been on this wild journey with me for the past 30 something years flash through me something clear and calm and electric. All the ways I've loved and been loved, been here and then been gone, been back again.

It's some deep well of longing that always sets me sad and straight.  That dive bar we passed the hours at, the walk we took through the orange leaves, those bright, those gold earrings that made me glitter.  Such fierce tenderness in those moments that brought us together (even though being together means at some point we will be apart.)

 But you know how it goes.  Just when I think it's all lost, there's finding you again in some wide, blue ocean I've always been wanting to sail. There's the sky, & the crossroads, & the sun cut flat. ... There's all of this and then coming home, again and again. There's you, there's me, there's that place we go again and again